NCVNVM SERVICE OF PRAYER AND RECONCILIATION

National Conference of Viet Nam Veteran Ministers

Service of Prayer and Reconciliation

Angel Fire, New Mexico, October 14, 1998

Prepared and conducted by Alan D. Cutter
Minister, Presbyterian Church; Vietnam Veteran, U. S. Navy.

Opening Statement:

We have heard it said, and we acknowledge this truth, time does not dim or heal the memories of war from years gone by. These memories remain fresh and always with us. The events of 35, 30, 26 years ago remain fresh as today's winds, and blow throughout our souls even as we sit here. Time, perhaps, does allow us to redeem our memories.

Let us worship together.

0 Lord, open my lips.

And my mouth shall proclaim your praise.

The Lord's unfailing love and mercy never cease, fresh as the morning and sure as the sunrise. (Lam. 3:22-23]

PSALM

Refrain: Create in me a clean heart, 0 God,and renew a right spirit within me.

1. Have mercy on me, 0 God, according to your loving-kindness;
in your great compassion blot out my offenses.

2. Wash me through and through from my wickedness
and cleanse me from my sin.

R

3. For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me,

4. Against you only have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight.
And so you are justified when you speak
and upright in your judgment.

5. Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth, a sinner from my mother's womb.

R

6. For behold, you look for truth deep within me,
and will make me understand wisdom secretly.

7. Purge me from my sin, and I shall be pure;
wash me, and I shall be clean indeed.

8. Make me hear of joy and gladness,
that the body you have broken may rejoice.

9. Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquities.

R

10. Create in me a clean heart, 0 God,
and renew a night spirit within me.
11. Cast me not away from your presence
and take not your holy Spirit from me.

12. Give me the joy of your saving help again
and sustain me with your bountiful Spirit.

R

READING: Psalm 137:1-4

By the rivers of Babylon--there we sat down and there we wept, when we remembered Zion.
On the willows there we hung up our harps.
For there our captors asked us for songs,
and our tormentors asked for mirth, saying, "Sing us one of the songs of Zion!"

WHAT WE FOUND

What we found. We arrived in a strange and far off country, and we found a land of stifling heat and humidity, of lush and varied greenness of infinite variety, of noisiness and smelliness beyond our experience, of confusion and bustle, and sudden danger. And we found a land where the language is not so much spoken as we learned our own, but a land where the language is sung in many tones and inflections.

So we came to sing our own song, as we had been taught in our upbringing and our training experiences. We came to sing the "Battle Cry of freedom," built in our corporate national identity in verse after verse of the American experience and dream, sustained by chorus after chorus of "God Bless America." And we arrived ready to enter into that rite of freedom called "war" in this strange, entrancing, beautiful land, knowing that our heritage proclaimed the song of freedom is purchased with offerings of blood.

And how did we find that we sang our song? How did we celebrate our liturgy?

Cordite, chemical and diesel were the incense lifted up.
"Patrol" was our processional, as negotiated towards the place of sacrifice.
Booby traps and land mines were our invocations.
Ambush and engagement our call to worship.
Explosion and bullet whine our hymns of praise.
Blood was our baptism.
Inedible food seasoned by fear and sweat our communion.
Codes were our scriptures, and our litanies were reports and messages.
And the word of the day was: "death given, and death received."
Evacuation was our recessional.

And that's what we found, and that's how we sang our song in that foreign land.

PRAYER

Eternal God,
you call us to ventures
of which we cannot see the ending,
by paths as yet untrodden,
through perils unknown.
Give us faith to go out with courage,
not knowing where we go,
but only that your hand is leading us
and your love supporting us;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.

READING: II Samuel 18:31-19:1

Then the Cushite came; and the Cushite said, "Good tidings for my lord the king! For the Lord has vindicated you this day, delivering you from the power of all who rose up against you." The king said to the Cushite, "Is it well with the young man Absalom?" The Cushite answered, "May the enemies of my lord the king, and all who rise up to do you harm, be like that young man." The king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept; and as he went, he said, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son." It was told Joab, "The king is weeping and mourning for Absalom."

WHAT WE LOST

What we lost. There have been many statements about what our nation lost in Viet Nam. We lost our innocence; or we lost our dignity; or we lost our humanity; or we lost our pride. Some say we lost the war. But these are broad strokes, and the reality of the greatest loss is much more personal, more intimate. There are three passages, two others in addition to the one read, that speak of loss in an intimate fashion.

There are the words of Esau. Returning from hunting, from the field, Esau found that his younger brother who stayed at home had conspired with their mother to steal the blessing of nationhood by deceiving Isaac, their blind father. Esau, discovering what had happened, that the blessing of the nation had been stolen from him, cried aloud to his father, "Have you no blessing for me?" He cried in agony as one who knew he had lost a nation, and his cry became the cry of the returning veteran when a less than grateful nation did not welcome the warrior home. Have you no blessing for me?

Then there are these haunting words of David, hearing that his son has been killed. "Absalom, Oh Absalom, my son, my son. Would that I had been killed rather then you." Searing words that speak of the deep wound suffered by a parent who has received unspeakable news. Words that are singularly appropriate in this place, built to honor the memory of a son, and of all the sons and daughters lost in Viet Nam. What parent would not willingly take the burden of death and suffering from their child? How many died so that others, perhaps we who are here, might live? And we are wounded by their loss, to the point where survival becomes almost a punishment, perhaps a burden, certainly a challenge.

And finally there is the cry of Jesus upon the cross, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" Even Jesus who offered words of comfort and salvation to those around the cross finally faced the darkness of death, and peering into the black, spoke such human words of despair and ultimate loss. He peered into the abyss and cried out in agony, for faith did not seem to bridge that chasm. As people of faith gathered here we are well aware of the challenge to our beliefs that are raised by the abyss of war, and we are painfully aware of the struggles of those who face that chasm, and even more painfully aware of our own struggles.

So we define our loss in the words of Esau - "Have you no blessing for me?" in the words of David - "My son! Would that it had been me!" in the words of Jesus - "My God, why have you abandoned me?"

PRAYER

READING: Sirach 1:14-20

To fear the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
she is craeted with the faithful inthe womb.
She made among human beings an eternal foundation,
and among their descendants she will abide faithfully.
to fear the Lord is he fullness of wisdom;
she inebriates mortals with her fruits;
she fills their whole house with desirable goods,
and their storehouses with her produce.
The fear of the Lord is the crown of wisdom,
making peace and perfect health to flourish.
She rained down knowledge and discerning comprehension,
and she heightened the glory of those who held her fast.
To fear the Lord is the root of wisdom,
and her branches are long life.

WHAT WE GAINED

We all recognize that there is no loss that does not contain the possibility, even the promise of gain. These words of the preacher are written to commend to the faithful, even the faithful who suffer loss, the hope that what will be gained is wisdom. Considering the losses of war, wisdom seems scant comfort! In the scripture wisdom gets great press; it is so highly desirable and seems such a noble and lofty goal as to be universally desired. Perhaps it is so treated because the preacher knows that the value of wisdom might be questioned if we truly knew the price of wisdom. The wisdom we gained came at a great price.

We did gain much wisdom, and we have knowledge of the frustration of war, of the transitory nature and security of life. We have great knowledge of the nonsense of conflict and engagement. And we have terrible knowledge of evil, and knowledge of the nature which resides in us. If this were all the wisdom we might well question whether the loss was worth so little?

But we also gained, at great cost, a knowledge, growing deeper year by year, of the value of life. We have knowledge of great courage, and among our small group we have knowledge of fortitude in the face of troubles. We also have wisdom about the grace of God, and the spirit of life, and even perhaps some wisdom about the reality of love beyond measure. And this wisdom we would not trade, for it gives us the ability to sing a song of great faith.

Our song is not about a baptism of blood, but about the wonder of awe-inspiring sacrifice. Our song tells not simply of hasty meals consumed, but of the deep comfort of simple pleasures shared in peace and companionship. Our song celebrates not the terrible stories of war, but rejoices in hands extended over the years to hold one another, help one another, and heal one another, as we have found just how much we value our lives and our life together.

PRAYER

READING: Jeremiah 29:1, 4-7

These are the words of the letter that the prophet Jeremiah sent from Jerusalem to the remaining elders among the exiles, and to the priests, the prophets, and all the peoople, whom Nebuchadnezzar had taken into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon.

Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, tha they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.

WHAT WE DO NOW

These are the words written to people living in a strange land, living in exile, advice about how to survive in exile. These are not words celebrating the past, for the exiles know their past was dubious; and these are not words for the future, for their future is uncertain. These are words for one day of life, advice from the Creator of all that is about how to live one day.

And they are words written to us, for we returned to live as exiles in our own country. Returned home not welcome, and we remain not welcome; exiles we were, and exiles we are, carrying with us the wisdom we have gained, burdened by the awareness of what we have lost. What do we do now?

To that haunting cry of Esau that we have made our own "Have you no blessing for me," comes the word "seek your blessing in planting," so we try and plant our seeds of witness, of truth, in the hard soil of people's hearts, and perhaps it grows.

To the tormented cry of David, "My son, my son," the cry of one shattered by his inability to protect his child, just as we are unable to protect those around us, we hear the word of wisdom, "build your family," so we try to widen our circle, to open our community, so that we may cry together, and perhaps laugh as well.

To the cry of Christ, My God, why have you abandoned me," we are enjoined to use our wisdom, our courage, all that we have gained to pray, to pray for the city, the nation, for our future is intertwined with it.

So let us do our duty and be witnesses. Let us do our duty and build our community. Let us do our duty, and let us pray.

PRAYERS

Satisfy us with your love in the morning,

and we will live this day in joy and praise.

God of all mercies, we, praise you that you have brought us to this new day, brightening our lives with the dawn of promise and hope in Jesus Christ. Especially we thank you for

the warmth of sunlight, the wetness of rain and snow, and all that nourishes the earth....
the presence and power of your Spirit. . .
the support and encouragement we receive from others ...
those who provide for public safety and well-being ...
the mission of the church around the world....

Merciful God, strengthen us in prayer that we may lift up the brokenness of this world for your healing, and share in the saving love of Jesus Christ. Especially we pray for

those in positions of authority over others ...
the lonely and forgotten. . .
children without families or homes ...
agents of caring and relief ...
the church in Asia....

[INDIVIDUAL PRAYERS MAY BE OFFERED; THE CALL LORD, HEAR OUR PRAYER, WILL ELICIT THE RESPONSE AND SHOW US THE WAY OF COMPASSION.]

THE LORD'S PRAYER

CHARGE AND BENEDICTION

Upon this day, we have gathered thankfully for God has given to us the gift of memory that we might keep alive those we love.

In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we remember them.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we remember them.
In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring, we remember them.
In the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer, we remember them.
In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we remember them.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart, we remember them.
When we have joys and special celebrations we yearn to share, we remember them.
When we see our nation's young marching behind our flag, or hear 'taps' played, we remember them.
So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are part of us.
And when we answer the final roll, we know that our brothers and sister will fulfill their duty,
and greet us with the words of compassion and friendship, peace and love:
"Welcome home!"

Go in peace.

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